were i to live on the internet

blue_crow @ 2009-11-08T15:12:00

2009-11-08T23:14:15Z

Had the unholy idea to make a Faces of Gaius Baltar lj moodtheme. I'm not nearly there yet, mostly brainstorming ideas for what faces I want to use where. Some are obvious and some are less so. If you have any suggestions, please. ♥

I'm also going to go ahead and submit the bid that Gaius Baltar is the most interesting man in the universe. He has more different careers than anyone else (Scientist, Politician, Revolutionary, Cult Leader, with Lee Adama coming in second with Military, Legal, Political.) He sleeps with more discreet models of cylons (Three, Six, and Tory) and is the only one to score more than three different versions of the same model (Caprica, Gina, Leda). He's the only one on the show to get a threesome. He's the only non-military character who gets to wear military garb (twice!) He has devout followers. He has hallucinations. If he wasn't so much fail for so many other reasons, I would think he was a serious Mary Sue.

1 *accomplished http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1305.jpg	2 *aggravated http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/416/images/bsg416_0845.jpg	3 *amused http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/217/images/bsg217_1298.jpg	4 *angry http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/320/images/bsg320_0182.jpg	5 *annoyed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0351.jpg
6 *anxious http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/409/images/bsg409_0609.jpg	7 *apathetic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/111/images/bsg111_0334.jpg	8 *artistic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/316/images/bsg316_0733.jpg	9 *awake http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0121.jpg	10 *bitchy http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/410/images/bsg410_0398.jpg
11 *blah http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/412/images/bsg412_0782.jpg	12 *blank http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/316/images/bsg316_0317.jpg	13 *bored http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/411/images/bsg411_0256.jpg	14 *bouncy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/208/images/bsg208_0338.jpg	15 *busy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/109/images/bsg109_0315.jpg
16 *calm http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/404/images/bsg404_0412.jpg	17 *cheerful http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/416/images/bsg416_0540.jpg	18 *chipper http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/416/images/bsg416_0506.jpg	19 *cold http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/410/images/bsg410_1334.jpg	20 *complacent http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/320/images/bsg320_0405.jpg
21 *confused http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/312/images/bsg312_0908.jpg	22 *contemplative http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/211/images/bsg211_0703.jpg	23 *content http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/102/images/bsg102_0635.jpg	24 *cranky http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/217/images/bsg217_0751.jpg	25 *crappy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/203/images/bsg203_1032.jpg
26 *crazy http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/402/images/bsg402_0709.jpg	27 *creative http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/213/images/bsg213_0743.jpg	28 *crushed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0022.jpg	29 *curious http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/414/images/bsg414_0562.jpg	30 *cynical http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/310/images/bsg310_0346.jpg
31 *depressed http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/414/images/bsg414_1122.jpg	32 *determined http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/320/images/bsg320_0731.jpg	33 *devious http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/204/images/bsg204_1293.jpg	34 *dirty http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_0702.jpg	35 *disappointed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/303/images/bsg303_0448.jpg
36 *discontent http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/319/images/bsg319_0009.jpg	37 *distressed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0811.jpg	38 *ditzy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/109/images/bsg109_1399.jpg	39 *dorky http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/208/images/bsg208_0952.jpg	40 *drained http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/302/images/bsg302_1000.jpg
41 *drunk http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/112/images/bsg112_0252.jpg	42*ecstatic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/miniseries/images/bsg_0754.jpg	43 *embarrassed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_0998.jpg	44 *energetic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/309/images/bsg309_1693.jpg	45 *enraged http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0410.jpg
46 *enthralled http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/113/images/bsg113_1068.jpg	47 *envious http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/219/images/bsg219_0038.jpg	48 *exanimate http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/409/images/bsg409_1159.jpg	49 *excited http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/110/images/bsg110_1163.jpg	50 *exhausted http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/113/images/bsg113_0566.jpg
51 *flirty http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/108/images/bsg108_0583.jpg	52 *frustrated http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/409/images/bsg409_0538.jpg	53 *full http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_1169.jpg	54 *geeky http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/109/images/bsg109_0318.jpg	55 *giddy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/110/images/bsg110_1232.jpg
56 *giggly http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/108/images/bsg108_1017.jpg	57 *gloomy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1445.jpg	58 *good http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/213/images/bsg213_1241.jpg	59 *grateful http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/405/images/bsg405_0859.jpg	60 *groggy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/101/images/bsg101_0235.jpg
61 *grumpy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/318/images/bsg318_0409.jpg	62 *guilty http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/302/images/bsg302_0832.jpg	63 *happy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_1389.jpg	64 *high http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1474.jpg	65 *hopeful http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/405/images/bsg405_1135.jpg
66 *horny http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/109/images/bsg109_0357.jpg	67 *hot http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/402/images/bsg402_1069.jpg	68 *hungry http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/402/images/bsg402_0622.jpg	69 *hyper http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_0982.jpg	70 *impressed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/311/images/bsg311_0901.jpg
71 *indescribable http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/404/images/bsg404_1080.jpg	72 *indifferent http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/404/images/bsg404_0017.jpg	73 *infuriated http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_0745.jpg	74 *intimidated http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1977.jpg	75 *irate http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_1036.jpg
76 *irritated http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/320/images/bsg320_0021.jpg	77 *jealous http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/302/images/bsg302_0122.jpg	78 *jubilant http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/113/images/bsg113_1073.jpg	79 *lazy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/306/images/bsg306_0101.jpg	80 *lethargic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1865.jpg
81 *listless http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/320/images/bsg320_0029.jpg	82 *lonely http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_1253.jpg	83 *loved http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/420/images/bsg420_12414.jpg	4 *melancholy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1248.jpg	85 *mellow http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/311/images/bsg311_0822.jpg
86 *mischievous http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/109/images/bsg109_1110.jpg	87 *moody http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/319/images/bsg319_0700.jpg	88 *morose http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_1322.jpg	89 *naughty http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/miniseries/images/bsg_4924.jpg	90 *nauseated http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/306/images/bsg306_1002.jpg
91 *nerdy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/306/images/bsg306_0113.jpg	92 *nervous http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0042.jpg	93 *nostalgic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/210/images/bsg210_1636.jpg	94 *numb http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/304/images/bsg304_0316.jpg	95 *okay http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/305/images/bsg305_0328.jpg
96 *optimistic http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_1204.jpg	97 *peaceful http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_1176.jpg	98 *pensive http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/310/images/bsg310_0851.jpg	99 *pessimistic http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/407/images/bsg407_1064.jpg	100 *pissed off http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/311/images/bsg311_0519.jpg
101 *pleased http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/107/images/bsg107_1334.jpg	102 *predatory http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/404/images/bsg404_0475.jpg	103 *productive http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/219/images/bsg219_1117.jpg	104 *quixotic http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/306/images/bsg306_0097.jpg	105 *recumbent http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/310/images/bsg310_0164.jpg
106 *refreshed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/305/images/bsg305_0353.jpg	107 *rejected http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_0089.jpg		108 *rejuvenated http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/418/images/bsg418_0535.jpg	109 *relaxed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/318/images/bsg318_1187.jpg	110 *relieved http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/416/images/bsg416_0287.jpg
111 *restless http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/407/images/bsg407_0762.jpg	112 *rushed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/203/images/bsg203_0555.jpg	113 *sad http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/405/images/bsg405_0189.jpg	114 *satisfied http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/110/images/bsg110_1249.jpg	115 *scared http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0097.jpg
116 *shocked http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/310/images/bsg310_0828.jpg	117 *sick http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0432.jpg	118 *silly http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/1/102/images/bsg102_0821.jpg	119 *sleepy http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0637.jpg	120 *sore http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0422.jpg
121 *stressed http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/304/images/bsg304_0689.jpg	122 *surprised http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/401/images/bsg401_0736.jpg	123 *sympathetic http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/407/images/bsg407_0917.jpg	124 *thankful http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/305/images/bsg305_0634.jpg	125 *thirsty http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/214/images/bsg214_0774.jpg
126 *thoughtful http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/418/images/bsg418_0343.jpg	127 *tired http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/307/images/bsg307_0320.jpg	128 *touched http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/4/405/images/bsg405_0041.jpg	129 *uncomfortable http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0166.jpg	130 *weird http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/3/313/images/bsg313_0834.jpg
131 *working http://disparue.org/gallery/2/bsg/2/220/images/bsg220_1380.jpg	132 *worried http://disparue.org/gallery/3/bsg/final/419/images/bsg419_0177.jpg

blue_crow @ 2009-11-05T13:01:00

2009-11-05T21:10:41Z

Kind of a weird day. I got down to school and my first class was cancelled and I had another one at four so I decided to go hide in the studios. This is a decent sized little building- studio space for fourteen people (ten spaces), with two bathrooms and a small kitchen setup, but almost all the time I'm alone in here. I'm also freezing. And I'm listening to Bobby Vinton on youtube on top volume instead of filling out my GAP grant application for class or doing any video editing or anything.

I want a space heater. I should do something to get my brain engaged. Writing or sketching or anything. Anyone have a particular fic of mine that they heard about that I'm being lazy about writing? Something I promised you I haven't written? Make me write it please.

Aw, someone just walked in, I guess that means I should stop playing Blue Velvet on repeat.

ALSO: Anyone who has ever watched any LOST or just wants to watch some pretty ridiculous Ian Somerhalder antics, click here.

blue_crow @ 2009-11-03T18:21:00

2009-11-04T02:28:01Z

I guess what I'm wondering is- would an art piece work as a collection of documents, images, videos, webpages, files, audio pieces and whatever that are organized into folders and navigated by the viewer? What I really want to accomplish is that an experience builds in the viewer's mind. I think I need some kind of hook- some kind of introduction- maybe a desktop image designed with annotations and places for the folders to go? Text piled onto the images? I want to find ways to go far enough- to let people engage to the level they want- but not go too far. I don't want it to be an overwhelming mass, just an engaging way for people to experience roleplay and character and obsession, with really living as someone else.

Still not sure yet. Thoughts? I could really use more conversations about this.

Drabbles

2009-10-31T22:26:13Z

Visions, Laura/Gaius/Head!Six, NC-17

God Made Flesh, Gaius/Doral, your god of war, NC-17

Elysium, Gaius/Caprica/Anders, PG (but I do have a bunny for the rest.)

blue_crow @ 2009-10-25T18:37:00

2009-10-26T01:48:04Z

I cut some messy bangs into my hair this morning. I meant them to be cheekbone length but the scissors slipped on the second side and they're like... eye length at the shortest and down to my jawbone at the longest (though gradual). I think they'll look okay but not great.

I went to see Where the Wild Things Are with my parents yesterday for my birthday. It was really well shot and really sculptural- the fortress that the Wild Things make and the little mountain and dirt model that the one Wild Thing made were just really gorgeous, simple sculptures. I did cry at the end. Then I cried in the restaurant. It was kind of a weird day.

Trying to write pornbattle porn. Still kind of overwhelmed by the sheer number of prompts. Also totally stressed out by the presentation we had to do the other day (for some reason I'm still stressed and its over.)

blue_crow @ 2009-10-17T14:22:00

2009-10-17T21:28:49Z

Title: Alien Wonder-Land
Rating: PG
Pairing: Gaius/Caprica
Notes: Written for nicole_anell for the Sweetest Day drabblethon

A brilliant pulse raced through the room, assaulting Gaius's prone body with red light. Only the cylons would conceive a ship whose walls watched and whose every atom was connected into a nervous system, wired into a humanoid being that muttered ceaselessly. For a second, he became convinced that his red divan was the ship's tongue, ready to pull him into a gaping maw of a doorway, and he shrieked and recoiled, crashing onto the floor.

Like in some children's story, a table materialized, a bottle of pills and a goblet perched on the top. Or had it always been there? He couldn't trust himself to remember, and yet, the bottle seemed familiar. Unlabeled, he had no way of knowing what the small white tabs were, whether they would lead him deeper into his psychosis or help him to pull himself out. Deciding on risk, he downed two tablets.

The woman in white had brought them. He managed to remember that much, as he settled back onto the tongue. The cylon that was the most cruel of the females. The red pulse ebbed and flowed over the back wall, and slowly thoughts rose out of the morass that had been his thoughts, order triumphing over impulse. Yes, D'Anna had brought him the pills. They had helped subdue his panic, to fill his need.

He heard the click of heels in the outside corridor, and he had the impulse left to cover himself with his bathrobe, but not enough to sit up. Instead, he lay listless on the divan.

There were two women, two Sixes, one in black and one in red. They stared down at him, the second an echo of the first. As the first knelt to his level, the second did as well. The first, the one they called Caprica, bent down to brush his hair back, her fingers solid on his skin. It was the first tender gesture he'd received since they'd left New Caprica's surface, and he pressed into it. The second, a Six he knew all too well knelt and ran fingers over his face, a touch he never felt. As soon as she made contact, she was gone.

blue_crow @ 2009-10-10T10:54:00

2009-10-10T18:12:55Z

I've been busy and inspired- maybe too inspired- lately. I have too many fic ideas to write, too many serious ideas (like for the Cult) to write. I have at least three video projects I should be working harder on. I have a couch to finish upholstering. I'm reupholstering a couch in the same muslin that my Surrogate is made out of. Mostly I'm making a little world for her out of her own skin, which sounds kind of creepy but I'm hoping it won't look that way.

I feel so much less self-assured than I did freshman year. I don't feel like my art is so amazing it will wow people. I'm trying to find things that I find important to do instead. I'm not really sure why this has changed- maybe I've found out I wasn't as good? Maybe I'm scared that once I don't have assignments I won't make art anymore. But I also think there is an upside, that I'm more open to ideas, more willing to play and to see what needs to be done. I hope. That or I'm just scared I'm not good enough and hiding it that way.

The BFA show seems so soon and I'm still not sure I'm ready to have so many people see my work. I'm worried its too literal, too obvious, that everyone will get it right away. I'm scared no one will get it. That I made a piece about loneliness and I'm trying to build it into a piece about identity (because I think I'll be projecting other faces (fictional faces) onto the Surrogate's face) and it will speak too much of one and not enough of the other. Mostly I'm having a hard time deciding how to make this message of flexible identity into a piece that's actually interesting to look at, to think about, and I'm worried either I can't do it or if I do no one will care.

Oh also! The new pornbattle is going to fall on my birthday. Will anyone write me porn?

blue_crow @ 2009-10-05T20:18:00

2009-10-06T03:19:47Z

6 hours to render a half hour's worth of AVI footage. This makes me feel like a certain doctor with 60 year's worth of work. And this is just for an attempt at a fanvid.

blue_crow @ 2009-10-04T18:26:00

2009-10-05T01:30:14Z

Meme: Who was I thinking of when I wrote this? No fair cheating if you match it up to something I've mentioned. Fandom is BSG. I guess I should leave a hint that the clothing mentioned is important and Baltar is not a participant.

He ran a hand up her slim hip, sliding her tanks up her skin, revealing her navel, her stomach.

"Are you sure?" he breathed against lips that were no longer thinking of his.
"No," she admitted, and he settled his arm around her waist, allowing her to cry into his shoulder.

blue_crow @ 2009-10-04T13:18:00

2009-10-04T21:15:29Z

Yesterday I started to reupholster a couch for my sculpture class. I did okay getting the fabric off and whatnot, but then as I was walking home I noticed that my hand was throbbing. By the time I got home some of my fingers on my right hand had swelled to twice the original size (okay maybe 1.5) and the bottom segment of my middle finger looked like a fleshy grape. Today it is still pudgy but it seems to be going down- I'm icing it and keeping it elevated and taking tylenol. My other hand hurts
because I cut my palm with a screwdriver while I was working on taking the staples out (which was a really tough job) and my neck hurts a lot in one place. Basically I am broken today and need a band-aid.

In other news I just watched the Numb3rs episode with James Callis and oh holy frak, he's like Charles Manson and Gaius Baltar had a redneck baby. I love it so much but the accent is SO WTF. IMDB has some audio of him being totally wtf and I highly recommend it if you like BSG. This is providing some interesting footage for me, maybe, for my video project. Hm, I need an icon to go with this.

Also I joined twelvecolonies and am a member of teambasestar. Hopefully that will be fun.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-30T16:32:00

2009-09-30T23:34:00Z

This is a bit of an information request. Can anyone think of particularly good movies, tv shows, tv specials or DVD special features about the process of assuming a character? This could be about acting, about writing, about roleplaying, about characters who are actors, about characters who are faking being other people. Any media you can think of that talks explicitly or implicitly about the act of being someone other than yourself. I want to edit an ensemble piece and I'm coming up short on references. Thanks!

Vile Contagion Prologue

2009-09-30T00:51:09Z

Title: Vile Contagion : Prologue
Rating: R for self-pleasure, implied sex
Pairing: Gaius Baltar / himself, implied Gaius Baltar / Caprica Six, future other Gaius pairings
Summary: Two years before the fall, Gaius Baltar discovers he may have contracted a disease. This is a prologue for a longer study.
Thanks to blaaksable for beta readings.

Two Years Before The Fall

The second he heard the door lock, he finally allowed himself to panic. He untied his velour bathrobe, fingers trembling, and took his cock in his hand, pulling over his bedside lamp to better examine it. Flaccid, it was nothing to brag about, but as far as he could see, there were no strange discolorations or markings, no little red welts or dry patches, at least not yet. No, it was as smooth and lovely as ever, well-shaped, and for a moment Dr. Baltar began to doubt that he'd even felt anything strange at all. In fact, the painful sensation had only occurred during his orgasm, as he'd felt that incredible blond tighten around him, her surprisingly strong hands pulling him in deeper. His memories of her moans were enough to almost make him forget about what had happened next.

Satisfied that there were no blemishes he could detect, Dr. Baltar tied his robe and moved into his study, trying to maintain a rational and scientific mind as he began to type his symptoms into the browser window. As he waited for results to pour in for his query, he began to examine his member again, as if he was sure that this time he would see the problem, the cause written in big letters along the shaft. He realized that his hand had stirred certain responses out of his body, and he continued to stroke himself to ease his anxiety.

Strangely, nothing seemed relevant. Every disease that listed his particular problems listed many things that were far worse than what he was experiencing, and almost none of them were transmitted sexually. A new panic rose up in Dr. Baltar, that perhaps he had misjudged the lovely young woman, and that perhaps his disease was much more serious, coming from a defective organ. Perhaps it was a degenerative nervous disorder. That was it, his nerves weren't reporting correct stimuli. Of course. A good surgeon might be able to help him. There, now wasn't that simple? He'd phone his physician immediately. Or maybe he'd better wait until he'd dealt with the parts of himself that he was still fondling.

He summoned up images of the woman who had just departed, the one he'd been so sure had given him some vile disease, but who he now knew must have been innocent. He thought of how her lips had reddened as she sucked him, of her moans muffled around his length. How eager she'd been to swallow everything and keep her mouth on him until he was ready to satisfy her. He was surprised by how easily he could embrace the terror he'd had only moments ago, how she became sexier for her imagined danger. He stroked faster, his hips arching up from his chair and into his hand, as he brought himself to the edge.

As he came, he was paralyzed for a second by the shock of feeling what he'd been hoping he'd only imagined, the nerves he was sure couldn't be responding correctly, that no disease he'd ever heard of caused. The second he felt his climax, the nerves of his spine lit up, burning a trail from his tailbone up into his skull. His skin was almost hot to the touch. Gaius couldn't have dialed his physician's number quickly enough.

...

"I think you'll be pleased to hear your tests came back negative," the pretty nurse informed Dr. Baltar.

"May I put my pants back on, then?" he asked, uncomfortable in his striped hospital gown.

"Yes, of course, Mr... Doctor, Baltar. Oh-" recognition flashed in her eyes. "Doctor Baltar! I read your interview in the Caprican Herald last week. Its... very controversial..."

"Yes, I, if you don't mind, I'd like to redress. Thank you, though, for keeping up with my..." he trailed off as he noticed the nurse watching him intently, her hands clutching her clipboard against her chest, yet holding it just low enough to accentuate her cleavage. "You know, miss... if you'd like to discuss it, I'm free all afternoon..."

"I'd be honored, Dr. Baltar. May I call you Gaius?"

Gaius was pleased his results had been negative.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-23T11:55:00

2009-09-23T18:56:09Z

I was up until 4:00 working on this recap of Six Degrees. I don't really think it was worth it, but I had a good time with it.

Now I'm off to a crit! Woo! I'm not sure I'm prepared enough. D:

Blue_Crow's Very Basic/Informal Photoshop Tutorial on Fixing Badly-lit BSG Screencaps.

2009-09-22T22:57:16Z

Instead of doing anything on my to-do list, I did this.

Hilarious that I end up making a fairly bad icon, but I think its mostly due to the fact that I started with a picture that couldn't really be saved and was stubborn and kept with it. Oh well.

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert, there may be better ways to do this, this is what I like.

Okay, I'm gonna use this bad cap of Jeanne at Baltar's trial, because it is what I have on hand. First, open the image in photoshop. My first step after that is to play with levels. Levels is a non-destructive tool, while brightness/constrast is destructive and tends to kill off information in the image. That's bad. So, Image > Adjustments > Levels.

This is a particularly bad image because it was so gray, but you'll see after a few minutes of playing with the levels what works and what doesn't work. I liked this mid-tone.

At that point I usually like to go into Image > Adjustments > Color Balance and mess around to get something I like. Sometimes I'll do a complementary color pull on an image- say, make the shadows really blue and the hi-lights really yellow. Whatever the particular image needs. This one I pulled the yellow a little to make her skin pop a little more.

And cropping. I usually like to play with the image before I get the cropping worked out, so I can see it a little larger, and to make sure the image has some potential to be decently colored. This is accomplished with the marquee tool and the Image > Crop tool, then sized down with Image > Image Size to get one dimension to 100 pixels and then tightened up with Image > Canvas Size to make it match. I'm fussy and only want 100x100 icons, but if you want something else, that's fine too.

On this one I decided to sort of blur out some of the items that were distracting from Jeanne with the clone tool down in the lower left corner (there was a little of the guard's shoulder) and to use a light gray brushed over the white of the suit in the background to knock it down a little (I made a new layer by clicking the new layer button on the layer window, set the layer to darken and brushed the gray over it there, then used the Layer > Flatten Image command.)

The image still looked a little lackluster, so I went back in to play more with the colors. I used the Image > Adjustments > Hue/Saturation option to increase the color. Still not satisfied I went back in with Color Balance and then with Levels and found something I like.

Sometimes this might be the end. I think I'll add a filter on top for kicks, just to run through that too.

I downloaded a whole bunch of free filters from here. Totally useful. I usually just flip through them until I see one that I think would look good with the image, open it up and copy/paste it onto the icon as a new layer.

Doubleclick the layer and set it to Overlay. Then play with the layer opacity (or the layer colorbalance, whatever works for you! Sometimes I even delete the color information of the layer off of some parts of the original image, to make the color variation even more intense). I decided with this one that I didn't really like the color stripe, but I liked the neutral glow, so I did more clone-tool work to get rid of the color stripe.

I don't really know how to do text, because I hate it. So we won't be covering text today.

And finally, File > Save For Web.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-13T11:30:00

2009-09-13T19:11:12Z

Totally swamped by plotbunnies. I have a huge list of things I need to write right now, including three multi-part fics that I'm trying to work out. Those three are a New Caprica Cult plotline involving a dead character, the LOST crossover I've been talking about forever, and a fic where Gaius creates world peace with his man-parts. Then I have a few one item ideas, including a Felix rapes Gaius on New Caprica fic, more Jeanne/Paulla fic, an extension of a few drabbles I've written with Felix cheating on Hoshi with Gaius in Season 4. Oh, and Gaeta/the pretty marine.

That and I was looking over past meme entries and I think I still owe some drabbles to some people. Basically I have a lot of work to do.

Now I just need to figure out where to start.

Oh and because I really don't need this meme again, but I love it:

Never Will I Ever meme: Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-09T20:27:00

2009-09-10T03:30:27Z

Posted my D*Con experience as Jeanne to cult_of_baltar. Feel free to join (actually I'd love it if you joined) but you can find that here.

And my con report is... HERE.

Hanging out in Florida was kind of neat. Got to meet Britt's friend Simon who I've known for a while, which was fun. Otherwise it was uneventful. The road trip portion was kind of awesome for some reason, possibly because of the good conversation and bad music and the two or three times in a row that we had Subway. The hotel in Gainsville was a little sketchy but we had a decent time in the room once we got in really late. The drive was easy and uncomplicated and we didn't really have to navigate Atlanta which was really wonderful- the hotel we stayed in was pretty much right off the freeway. The Georgian Terrace was really pretty and the rooms are really big and comfortable (though the over-attentive doormen and valets are seriously a little creepy.) The room had like, a dishwasher and a dryer and washing machine which was ridiculous. The first night here, the Thursday, we met Michelle and Mike, who I don't think I could say enough nice things about, and we waited on the three hour pre-registration line together (while Britt went to the much shorter ticketmaster line and then waited outside). Mostly I was starstruck and nervous about meeting Michelle for some reason. Then we hung out in their hotel room until probably too late and went back up to crash.

Then the con started properly. I think the first thing we did was find Kristy at the fountain out front of the Marriot, did some stuff... I can't really remember what exactly happened at this point, and I'm sure that's going to be how a lot of things went. I know we rescued Steph at some point, I posed for a few photos because the Steampunk costume went over pretty well, and I pretty much felt badass all day. I snuck into a Steampunk panel mostly to pay my respects and get noticed which mostly didn't quite happen, but whatever, it was kind of neat and there were so many great costumes. I know we went to go meet AJ that day, and Kristy asked him to dinner and I was like, eh, that's not gonna happen (though everyone knows how that worked out by now!!!) and then we went to the Battlestar panel. Waiting in the line was sort of funny since we met in a very odd way- I'm not sure who recognized whom in what order but we pulled the whole team together pretty fast. I think that was the first time I met Rap and Sondra and I think I hailed Michelle and Mike into the group and then we all sat together in the first panel. There were a ton of funny things at the first panel, including Michael Hogan crashing the panel, stealing all the mics and generally being a little awesomely odd. I don't really remember quotes, but I recall Kandyse looking totally heartbroken a few times, Trucco and AJ trying to cheer her up (mostly Trucco pretending to make out with her) and AJ being very charismatic and funny. I think it was also a little sad that there weren't enough questions for the Science Advisor guy or for Lucianna Carro who seems really cute and had some nice things to say but overall didn't have a whole lot to do. Hogan called EJO, who had cancelled to go film Green Hornet and EJO led a round of cellphone SO SAY WE ALL which was kind of incredible.

I think that night we went to have dinner with some 13th Colony folks. I almost wish we hadn't, because I sort of felt like Britt and I were imposing, and so we were just mostly quiet while everyone talked about hockey. It was just a little awkward and I think we would have had more fun on our own someplace, but it wasn't so bad and it was really just more because it was people I didn't know and I'd thought maybe it might be some of the 13th Colony people I did know- who were the ones at ECC. Clearly wasn't the end of the world. I think we might have gone back to Michelle and Mike's room because it seemed like we did that a lot but most of the evenings are sort of fuzzy because they were late and I think I might have gotten drunk that night. I think the best part of that evening might have been when I noticed Trucco and AJ and Hogan and Vernon going into a restaurant next door to where we were all standing- I just love knowing that they're buddies and hang out together and it made me feel somehow so much fonder for the show.

The next day was the Jeanne day, which had a totally different character than the previous day, because for me it was psychologically very different. It was a lot less about looking for people who were looking at me and a lot more about interacting with people as a cultist. Again we got up and out fairly early, Britt slept in while we went off to meet Kristy at the panel. We got really far ahead in the line, which was great, and in the line I started to hand out my cult fliers. Probably the best reaction I got was fairly early, when I handed the flier to a Roslin cosplayer who ripped the flier to shreds and threw it out in front of me. I have to say I felt really rejected, but was also really amused by that. I had a bunch of conversations with people about it, though most people who didn't engage me I just sort of slipped away from really quickly. I figured it might be awkward otherwise. I think the other good reactions I had were the Gaius and the Romo- I think I'll talk more about my experience as Jeanne as sort of a charter post and introduction to cult_of_baltar which I'm going to officially start up in a few days. I want a little more time to process it.

So the panel that day had no Kandyse, but it did have Hatch and it also had Aaron who crashed it by surprise halfway through in typical self-absorbed style. He took a mic and started to ask the question, "So, um, there's this awesome actor that you guys got to work with, and in the beginning he was really young and thin and I was just wondering what it was like to work with him......." and then once AJ got him a chair and he got up on stage, he told everyone he was only there because the bar was out of alcohol already. And then he proceeded to ignore everyone's questions and talk about how much he liked killing Tory bare-handed. Also Kate Vernon seemed totally and hilariously spaced out and Trucco made fun of her a lot for it which was cute. Really if you want to see what people said, check Kristy's recap because her notes were so good on what funny things everyone said- I think Hatch said some really interesting things about how he played Zarek during this one, but I can't really remember.

After that we maybe got lunch, then went back to the room- I took a well-deserved nap and then ripped my tights for my Jeanne costume and had to wear pants for the rest of the day. Then we showed up at the Gaeta Squee room party which was so awesome. Met Nicole and Rap's friend whose name I remembered yesterday. I know at some point we met another Gaeta author- Shannon? Anyway it was a great little party, we had a great time talking and I got to show my documentary which was a ton of fun. I was so glad everyone liked it and it went over well.

Then we went to the Fleet party. Or rather, a few of us went to the Fleet party- I think it was just myself, Michelle, Britt and Steph. It was a kind of generic dance party with a lot of BSG costumes, but seriously I don't get out much and dancing was fun even if I am sure I looked ridiculous and I got to leaflet a lot and then met a ton of Fleet people and Athena and Starbuck remembered me and that was pretty exciting. I guess I just have a bad habit of putting people on a pedestal and a few of them were all at D*Con so I was a little squeee! about a few of them. And I liked meeting them again and I kind of can't believe they remembered me. I think for me the best part of the Fleet party was the Baltar cosplayer who from the back looked just like James and the fact that he hugged me and we had a whole long in character interaction that I'm not sure he knew was in character but it totally was, with his Head!Six girlfriend looming in the back and I didn't even see her (of course, again, in character). And the Romo Lampkin with the stuffed cat in the cat carrier which was so funny- he and I talked for a while in character as well. Unfortunately we missed the actors at the Fleet party, since they went early and left quickly. But then we just went home to sleep because it was ridiculously late and just fell into bed.

I think I actually managed to sleep in that morning and then just wore a damn teeshirt and jeans. We had the reshoot of the photo fairly early- I guess I forgot that there was a photo previous days and the place got robbed and we needed to reshoot it and I was sad that I wasn't in my Jeanne costume but the teeshirt and sweatshirt was probably fine. I heard it looks good so that's okay. Then we went to the panel together, which AJ wasn't supposed to be at but was anyway, and that one was good and Vernon seemed more awake and really the hilight was AJ saying Baltar was a bisexual whore (my words, not his) and that he probably boned him on New Caprica (okay I'm paraphrasing but that's what he meant) and it basically validated my pairing and that was frakking awesome and I squeed a lot. Then they all said, "SO SAY WE ALL" and it went down the line and when it was AJ's turn he said, "Line?" before repeating the SO SAY WE ALL. It was just perfect.

We wandered around a bit, and then went to go meet up for dinner. We got into a sort of pan-Asian place which had some decent food- it tasted good but I think mine wasn't good and I was a little ill from it and it combined badly with my nerves the next day. But anyway the place was fine and we (or at least Kristy and I) were totally stressed from waiting for AJ to call because he'd promised earlier that he would. Kristy told him where we'd be and then HE SHOWED UP AT DINNER. I have a stream of conciousness report on what he said that I sent to Michelle who I hope will actually write what he said because I can't remember a thing right now. I remember him being kind of made of awesome and being gracious and calling Kelsey like I'd wanted him to. He was sweet and did try to get people to talk about stuff (like themselves and the con experience) but I think everyone was so eager to hear what he was going to say it was a little tough.

Then we (we being myself, Britt, Nicole, Steph and Michelle) went back to Michelle's room and tried to play the Battlestar board game which did not end well. Mostly it ended in mass confusion and bafflement. Frak that game, seriously. I'd had a little to drink and it was just a bad idea. But we laughed about it a lot and then went to sleep.

I was really upset about leaving. Mostly I packed up and cried on the Monday. I think I have a thing about leaving things when I'm having such a good time- my life is boring and I live alone and I spend a lot of time being lonely. I'm bad at making friends in real life and I need to change that because I just enjoy being around people so much. I hate feeling isolated like I do and sometimes the internet just doesn't do enough for me. I generally think of myself as a cave-dweller not suited for contact with non-cave-dwellers and I get awkward about making friends even with other internet people and really it just had me upset.

So I spent a bunch of time cuddling Britt and being sad. Said my goodbyes to everyone I hadn't said goodbye to the previous day, mostly Steph who jogged out early and Michelle and Mike who I so wish I lived next door to. Then Britt and I took the tram to the airport where we sat around and I cried some more. Then I called her once I got through security and I'm lame. First she noticed Trucco getting out of a car and then I saw AJ and Trucco in the airport. I feel like a stalker for noticing them but I thought it was so cute that they were hanging out together ~~and it made me want to write RPF also because of the squabbling they'd been doing about the leg~~ and I just love that they're like, buddies. My brief hope that they'd be sitting with me on the plane (and really believe me there was a lot of hope) was squashed when I sat next to two young doting parents of infant twins named Roxas and Kairi which if you don't know are names from Kingdom Hearts of characters that are kind of the main couple, or rather, Kairi and Sora are the main couple and Namine and Roxas are like versions of them from some alternate universe or something so basically they're like one person and their alternate universe partner which is CREEPY um anyway. The infant twins weren't too annoying and I was a good girl and didn't quote Caprica Six at them ("How small they are! You won't have to cry for very much longer.......")

And then I got home and my cat mobbed me and wouldn't let me out of her sight and even slept in the bed with me which she never ever does because she's not that cuddly. It was really sweet. She kept yowling at me to make sure I knew she was glad I was home and that her belly needed to be rubbed enough to make up for the week I was gone.

I think that was it. Whew. Actually I'm sure I forgot, like, everything.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-03T08:46:00

2009-09-03T12:47:27Z

In a motel in Gainsville, about five hours from Atlanta. Excited! Also tired. Just, y'know, if you were curious as to where I was. You probably weren't.

blue_crow @ 2009-09-01T15:33:00

2009-09-01T19:42:45Z

Image made with http://labs.wanokoto.jp/olds which is all kinds of awesome.

Also I posted a tutorial (sort of) on how I made this costume over on SteamFashion which is a pretty neat community.

blue_crow @ 2009-08-31T06:54:00

2009-08-31T14:03:32Z

blue_crow @ 2009-08-30T16:08:00

2009-08-30T23:30:28Z

I've been meaning to make copies of my Spirituality Group Flier (this here) and I had been sort of anxious about it- I'm not really sure why- but I actually had a dream about taking it to the copy shop last night. So this morning I decided to just take the frakking thing to the copy shop.

Once I get into the copy shop, I can't figure out how to make doublesided copies, so I ask the woman working behind the desk. She explains it, and she gets a look at what I'm copying. While I figure out how to place the thing, making some test copies, she goes into the back.

Some classical music comes on. At first I couldn't identify it. Then, I knew it was The Shape of Things to Come. Then I second-guessed it. Was it really? Could that really be what was on the sound system? Wait, no, it must be some other classical music that I've heard and I'm just too bsg-minded.

I make my copies and ask. No, that's exactly what that was- she told me I'd inspired her. I decide to make more copies to the tune of Adama's Stealth Bagpipe Brigade. Then I dutifully clipped the corners off the fliers, and left one for her.

Steampunk Update!

2009-08-26T04:30:07Z

Okay, this is probably the first picture update that didn't come with freakouts so I get points.

Now I like the hat/glasses combo but only with the scarf. I'm not as keen on it without.

See what I mean?

But I fixed that whole bustle mess by going without!

Yeah bitches.

So all I have left is... some belt pouches to hold all the accessories and stuff while I"m not wearing them (and my phone and my wallet and that kind of stuff) and the cuffs of the shirt and doing the interfacing and grommeting of the back of the corset.

But hey, getting pretty close.

blue_crow @ 2009-08-14T16:08:00

2009-08-14T23:08:42Z

Title: Official Correspondence
Rating: NC-17 for sex, moderate kink
Pairing: Felix Gaeta / Gaius Baltar
Summary: Well, my attempts at writing actual fic didn't go anywhere. But I did manage something a little new, I think. This seems to be a collection of all of my running kinks of Gaius's, including kinky letter writing, domination, and his socks (really, I don't know why that keeps coming up.)
Thanks to blaaksable for beta readings.

Also, happy birthday millari!

blue_crow @ 2009-08-13T22:23:00

2009-08-14T05:24:20Z

Finally some measure of success.

And with that I'm gonna go sleep.

Steampunk BSG costume, part II

2009-08-13T00:45:41Z

So I thought I was doing fairly well with the costume. The blouse looked good, the skirt seemed passable (sort of) and I'd gotten some accessories I liked (leather gloves, aviator sunglasses, floral lace tights, BSG rank pins.) I was excited with how the corset was coming along.

Then I had a friend over to look at the costume and he convinced me the skirt looked awful so I'm going back to square one, salvaging fabric and making a whole new skirt, probably a straight, knee-length skirt with a bustle or something.

And then I started getting further along with the corset, and boy, is that a wreck. I started fussing with the fit of it, since the straps didn't look nearly BSG-enough, and they just... frak. It looks lumpy and uneven, the boning is probably causing the problems, I can't get the two sides even... I'm just really upset. I don't know anyone I can ask for help. My mom doesn't know any more about this stuff than I do (and maybe a little less, since I've been through it once.) The two layers don't come together very well, and it just... I don't even know.

Pictures of the wreckage under the cut.

Before I started messing with it, it looked something like:

which wasn't really BSG-like but it was at least sort of smooth.

I really don't know what to do, and its kind of freaking me out.

blue_crow @ 2009-08-01T14:38:00

2009-08-01T21:55:50Z

I found out I needed more materials to finish the corset, so instead of working on my costume at all, I've been working on my website, and trying to avoid it by playing a lot of WoW and web applet games and watching Mad Men. And avoiding the gym as well. I'll go back next week, I promise.

So here's a meme borrowed from falafel_musings.

The Favourite Character Meme

1. Write a list of 15 of your fandoms; including films, TV series, books and stage shows.
2. Ask people on your flist to pick a fandom and guess who your favourite character is from it.
3. If they guess right, you must explain why this character is or became your favourite.
4. If you share this fandom with the poster guess who their favourite is too.

(I found 15 to be a lot, some of these are just things I like casually, not things I have fic thoughts about.)

1. Battlestar Galactica
2. Star Wars
3. LOST
4. Mad Men
5. Final Fantasy: Advent Children/FF7
6. Cowboy Bebop
7. World of Warcraft (there are NPC characters, it counts)
8. Kingdom Hearts
9. Final Fantasy 8
10. Watchmen
11. Dune
12. Lord of the Rings
13. Blade Runner
14. Pirates of the Caribbean
15. Hellsing